I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
