I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
