this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
