I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
There r osticjed everywhere
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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