I'm jealous of your bromance
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
