that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
