This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Enjoy the penises
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
