my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
In other news, I just burned my penis
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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