We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
