So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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