apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
