i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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