i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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