Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
