I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
