uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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