everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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