Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
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