so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
