Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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