I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
