Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Randomize
