Pappa wants mamma naked
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
