You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
