i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Are we still banned from the library?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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