yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
