My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
