My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Every concussion has its silver lining
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
