I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
