If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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