I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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