i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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