i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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