porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
