If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
