Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
