hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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