i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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