So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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