i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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