He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Come see our sink grown plant.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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