i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
