I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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