So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
