I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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