omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
time to smoke my breakfast
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Can I color on your dick again?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Randomize
