How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
