I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
