even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
