Please, let me fuck your mom
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
