this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
